Friday, July 13, 2012

Shark Week Isn't Hosted Only by the Discovery Channel Anymore

Hell. No.

It's pre-shark week around the Collett - Hilliard home and that means - for 1/3 of us - massive water retention, crazy cravings, sleepiness, body aches, and trying to find my motivation all-the-while continuously trying to talk myself into a good mood so I don't make an ass of myself. ...Maybe I just get the flu every single month?

It also means, apparently, another week of weight gain. Only 0.7 this week (as opposed to the 1.something last week). This is not ok.

But honestly, I cannot look anyone in the eye and say I actually tried this week. While I did eat kind-of ok, I didn't exercise one single morning (or afternoon or night) when I had the opportunity. There was one week a while back that I lost about 3lbs and during that week I made a point to exercise 4/5 out of 7 days - be it bike riding or doing my C25K program - I just did it. This is the right way to lose weight; I know that. However! The last few days I just didn't freaking feel like it. It's a rare occasion that I can "make" myself do something, especially if it requires effort - but it ESPECIALLY doesn't happen before/during shark week.

Trying to remember what I had to eat this week isn't too difficult although I'm thinking about keeping track of food again, but that requires effort - and we covered that already. Mind you, I'm *supposed* to be on a low carb diet:

Monday - Atkins for lunch, almonds for snack, probably a cheese stick, too. Fillet and grilled squash & zucchini for dinner. Plus a glass of wine.

Tuesday - 2 chicken sausage links for b-fast, a chicken salad with goat cheese for lunch (bals. vinaigrette dressing), nuts for snack, maybe an apple (sometime this week I enjoyed a Fuji apple.); Chipotle chicken bowl for dinner. I messed up here - everything in the bowl except the chicken was a no-no.

Wednesday - Atkins for breakfast, Atkins for lunch, nuts & boiled egg for snack, chicken salad & small rolo mcflurry for dinner. Being honest is hard. And while I'm at it, 3 of Josh's McNuggets and 1/4 of his small fry, too. I think I officially ended the evening with a large marshmallow.

Thursday - I actually woke up and put on my running clothes but that was as far as I got; the energy to do more continued to elude me. Instead I made 2 chicken sausage links and 1 egg for bfast. Atkins bar for lunch. 1/2 another Atkins bar for snack. Homemade chicken salad with spinach, parm, kalamata olives, peppadew peppers and Cesar dressing for dinner. Plus a few spoonfuls of Stonyfields Greek yogurt Dark Chocolate ice cream. This stuff is TDF. Probably consumed more almonds. Also, uhm, a low-carb ice cream bar. And uhhh some pimento cheese and pita chips; maybe 3 tbsp total of the spread. I repotted a plant, too - does that count for anything?!

Today - so far, I've only feasted on my anger and another stupid Atkins bar.

I've been drinking a shit ton of water; well, the recommended amount which is more than usual for me. But I think I chose the wrong week to both dine on roasted sea salt almonds and consume 60 oz of water per day.

What I really loathe is I'm totally and completely aware of ALL of the "issues" here (obviously) but I feel so stuck that I can't shake it. I know I'm going to be a shithead for at least a week, but I know it will end, I know I will go back to "normal", and I try to curb it all but I find myself giving myself the middle finger!

I hate shark week. I can't hardly make myself refuse myself's delicious ideas, and need to go to bed at 9:30 and sleep until 7. It's just not fair, dammit. I know how to do this (lose weight / get healthy) but I'm my own worst enemy.

I guess the bright side is, as I mentioned - I'm aware. It's just a battle now, and every month, to pretend like shark week is a hoax or something.